I live on the 8th floor of a ratty apartment block in Chinatown. My connection to the High Speed internet service offered by True Corporation, Thailand's biggest ISP, begins with a digital line that comes in off the street. When it enters our building it becomes an analog copper wire that disappears into a metal box located under a drippy pipe near the front office. The box belongs to the Telephone Organization of Thailand (TOT).
Emerging from the frightening spaghetti-like tangle of telephone/computer lines crammed into the box, my thin copper line then climbs up eight floors, undoubtedly losing electrical resistance en route. Thus before the ADSL line ever plugs into my computer, its speed is lower than the advertised 512/256 kpbs for which I pay 802 baht/month. (Plus an extra 107 baht/month to TOT for the privilege of poking my wire into a hole in that metal box downstairs.
When I first installed True Hi Speed internet four years ago, it seemed efficient enough. Of course anyone switching from a dial-up modem to ADSL is bound to be overjoyed at the speed difference, at least initially. Besides, nobody expects lightening fast speeds in Thailand because the international internet gateway to the world is tightly controlled by the rapacious Communication Authority of Thailand (CAT). Every ISP in Thailand pays huge fees over and under the table to CAT for the privilege of exiting the country. Which is one of several reasons for the expensive and slow Thai internet.
Anyhow, in early 2007 my ADSL connection became seriously slow. Like it took 1 or 2 minutes to download a single web page. Even my old dial-up connection was faster than this. Thus began a series of calls to True Customer Service. Ha, what a true misnomer that is. The default "help" mode adopted by this small band of excessively polite reps involves absolving True of any responsibility for any problem. The customer is always wrong.
No, I'd patiently explain to Khun Whoever, it can't be my smtp, pop, firewall, browser, cookies or any other setting. My speeds were fine before and I haven't changed a thing.
"Are you looking at websites within Thailand or abroad?" they'd ask.
"WHAT?" I'd scream. (After countless calls I'd finally lost all semblance of cool.) "It's the Internet. There's no difference between surfing within and without Thailand." (Except that within Thailand you don't need to pass the CAT gateway.) How could such archaic notions of intra- and international persist in the age of global communication. Thanks to the TOT/CAT duopoly, they still do. .
"My problem has nothing to do with me. YOU are advertising super cheap promotions and don't have enough bandwidth to service your many new customers." They sheepishly agreed with me but could do nothing. We'd come to an impasse. "Let me talk to a supervisor," I begged. When this person finally came on the phone she offered just one option: For 1,250 baht/month I could sign up for the SME package (for small and medium enterprises). Apparently SME package speeds were faster because it had fewer subscribers.
"But I'm not an SME. I'm just me," I protested. "Your solution to a True-created problem is to charge me 1250 baht/month (even more with tax) for the same level of service I once got with a 802-baht line?" I was righteously indignant. "You call this service?!?" Apparently she did because with a take-it-or-leave-it rejoinder, she hung up.
I was really upset. Customer Service refused to put me in touch with anyone in upper management so I switched tactics. Reckoning a writer with a work permit and press card had some measure of influence, I decided to visit the True Corp head office. It was a definite gamble because Thais don't take you very seriously without a referral or at least a contact name. And indeed the trio of smiling girlies guarding the downstairs reception counter at True Corp were totally flummoxed by my appearance (both literal and figurative).
After numerous frantic phone calls from reception, two young women appeared. We sat down at the True coffee shop and they listened patiently as I explained my problem in a mixture of Thai and English. They made various phone calls and eventually said a big PR boss was coming right over from her office across the street. In the interim they proffered smiles and coffee. While we waited, three more minions appeared, all wanting to hear my saga. Then two more. At which point I realized I was wasting my time repeating the same information because only the boss had the authority help me. I clammed up.
How long does it take to cross a street in Bangkok I wondered after nearly an hour had elapsed. If the street is the hyper congested 6-lane Ratchadapisek at the Rama 9 intersection and the PR boss is driving not walking--and no PR boss would dream of walking across the street--an hour is about average. Sure enough a profusely apologetic woman appeared soon afterward and in no time had bestowed a free SME package on me to solve my connection speed problems. I had my own password and the mobile phone number of a charming engineer in case of problems.
Wow! I flew like the wind with the SME package. For exactly one day. When I plugged in on the second day the login name and password didn't work. I rang the charming engineer who provided different ones. They too worked for a day. On the third day the charming engineer didn't pick up the phone. I was back to square one.
I left the country for three months and when I returned in October my True internet connection was slightly faster once again. On really bad days I go to the Fujitsu service center where Fujitsu owners can use their wi-fi for free.
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